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  • Lessons from my 30s
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I just love my mum’s face in this picture. 🤍 It’s been 365 days since she died. We’ve travelled around the sun once, we’ve had days when we couldn’t find the sun, we’ve had days when she has still been here in its warmth and in its afterglow. We have just had a week of the most incredible sunsets. 🤍 It has taken me 365 days to start remembering this face again. Because when a person is so altered physically and mentally by a disease, you actually lose them in pieces and the way they are at the end holds a disproportionate amount of space in your heart and head. Just as we lost her in pieces and our grief started long before these 365 days, I have been putting her back together in pieces too. 🤍 I know this face nearly as well as my own. And even when I can’t see her face, I’ve realised that’s ok because mum is a feeling too. A safe, loved just the way you are, no matter what, feeling. I hope my girls carry that feeling their entire lives too. 🤍 And p.s. (an important p.s.) If you are experiencing your own, unique version of this story, whatever you are feeling, know that there are millions of us and that you are not alone. 🤍
This is the first day of the last year of my 30s. The sky turned pink (just for me) and I have just been for a walk in the vineyards and didn’t drink any, which is proof I am growing up. I also wrote a blog to honour this momentous occasion about everything my 30s has taught me (so far). I am very old and very wise now so ignore it at your peril. Link you know where 😉 Oh and thanks @elizabday @malcolmgladwell @drkathrynmannix for making me wiser.
2019 started with mum dying so it was never going to be an easy one. It has been huge and messy and scary and life affirming. 🤍 It has thrown up more questions than answers. Hard questions. Like what happens after we die, and what if I forget what she looks like, and how can I live every day like it’s my last and keep all these plates spinning? And some even harder ones from the 3 year old like ‘when is Santa’s birthday?’ and ‘do sharks have eyebrows?’ 😳 I have not found all of the answers. I don’t know if I have found any of them. 🤍 But I know this. That making new memories is how we simultaneously move forward and honour the love and example that has gone before. It is the ripple effect of legacy. 🤍 We just had a Christmas that mum would have loved. And I intend to have a year that she would have loved as well. And another one after that and after that. So here’s to a brand new decade and to being alive.
A sparkly tree, loads of snow and cousins snuggled up in a ski chalet. Life is complete. (Until nobody sleeps and they all share each other’s germs but we don’t talk about that yet...) 🎄 🦠 #christmasisforsharing #letitsnow #cousincarnage
Lausanne was just voted best small city in @monocletravel ‘s Small City Index. Here’s part of the reason why. Isn’t she beautiful?! Living here doesn’t make life perfect but this kind of backdrop, when you remember to look up, grabs you by the face and screams at you to remember to live life. #lovewhereyoulive #mylausanne #lookup #internationalmountainday
Gulped some mountain air. Felt better. @juliegautier.nery this may be my equivalent medium to your water and I loved your words on that stage @tedxlausannewomen this week. About how we need to exhale to make room before taking a huge breath and jumping in. It’s my mantra for the new year. Make room, take a breath and dive in. (And preferably include snow with that.) #takeabreath #beyourselves #mountainair
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